I'm getting married! *heart*

I know I've mentioned it before, but now that it's only a week and a few days away I'm starting to panic.

Now, I'm not getting cold feet or anything. I'm never been so sure of anything in my life as I am that he is the perfect match for me. He's my best friend and we have so much fun together while at the same time we're able to handle anything that gets thrown at us.. distance, insane mothers, depression.. to name just a few that we've had to deal with already. That's not why I'm panicking. I'm panicking because I'm scared to death of walking down the aisle. I don't like people looking at me. I have an anxiety disorder, and people staring at me is a terrifying thought.

My absolute worst fear? having a panic attack at my own wedding ceremony. Blacking out or throwing up on someone's shoes. I'm trying not to think about it, but it's incredibly difficult.

also, we're trying to have a baby! YAY! I love babies :o) We're on month four.. and no luck yet. I'm trying not to become one of those crazy obsessed people that has notebooks full of temperatures and ovulation predictor results.. etc. but that's hard too!

Here's hoping for this month.. keeping my fingers crossed. :o/

Yay!

So I guess I shouldn't be so happy, but the coworker discussed in my last post.. has been fired! I knew it was only a matter of time. She wasn't pulling her weight.. she was doing things that were against all of our policies and no matter how many times I told her to do things, she just wasn't doing her job.

So I'm happier than I probably should be, but today went smoother than any day in a while has..

on a crappy note.. my company is frustrating.. and my boss and I are going to be getting yelled at a lot tomorrow.. but that is a story for another time.

I need to go grocery shopping, or starve.

Ugh!

So I'm in my second week in my new position. Now, I love my job.. don't get me wrong, but I need to bitch and since confidentiality says that I can't bitch to anyone, here I am.

I work with two women. We have a common goal - To have a well oiled machine that not only provides the basic necessities of life, but also facilitates an environment conducive to learning. sounds great, right? herein lies the issue. One of the women I work with, is a fucking moron... and that's putting it lightly.

She is slow. I mean, turtle slow. I asked her to do a *very* basic task that takes any normal person about five minutes, and she literally took an hour and a half to do it. an hour and a half! I've been *really* patient with this particular coworker. I find that at work, I have a very high tolerance for stupidity.. but this was really pushing my limits.

I wrote out a checklist on her duties for her to follow since for the past two months, she has been told repeatedly (and I mean daily) what she is to do, yet she still fails to do it. Hopefully the checklist helps? *crosses fingers*

It really is ridiculous, because myself and the other coworker, are working twice as hard to pick up the slack, and fix things she messes up. I find myself more exhausted than I have been in a long time.

Here's hoping that my complaints to bossy boss are taken seriously.. because I really can't handle much more of this.

off to bed. more crap tomorrow. *whine*

So sick...

The day that I took my kitty to the vet, I was fine. Unfortunately, as soon as I got home I started to feel a bit woozy and light headed. That turned into a high fever, aches, chills and all sorts of lovely symptoms. I was so Ill that I pretty much slept through the weekend. I feel much better now and the kitty is back to cuddling with me at night. Yay!

I seem to have gotten my boss sick though. Oops? Although I can't take all the credit, most of the staff and clients at work are sick too. Stupid stomach bugs spread like wildfire.

I got to step into my new position for the day since bossy boss was off sick though. It was a bit stressful, but I think I can handle it.

Still a bit panicked about the wedding, I feel like I need to be doing more than I am. Everyone keeps asking me how the wedding plans are going and since I'm not really doing much It makes me feel like I must be falling behind. I have to print out invitations, that's the huge task that is getting me overwhelmed. 100 invitations, 100 reply cards, 100 reply card enveopes addressed and stamped, 100 direction cards printed, 100 invitation envelopes addressed and stamped, 100 invitations fully assembled with a pretty little ribbon bow... Ugh.

Then there are the 100 wedding favours and the centrepieces and that's not even everything I have to do.

new job? what? :oD

so it's not really "new". It's a promotion, that I had to apply for.

for months now, the big big big boss, has been trying to get the ball rolling to get someone into the assistant position at my workplace. FINALLY they did an internal posting and I jumped at it. More pay to do the job I'm already doing? I'm in!

I applied and the only person who seemed to dislike the thought of me getting the position is my own cousin. the person who got me the job in the first place was making all sorts of snarky comments about how I would likely have a harder time getting the job than I think. well PBLTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! on him. I got it!

on a less happier note. My kitty had to go to the vet today. The other day I noticed what looked like a minor eye infection, but yesterday it got much worse and his eye was pretty well gooped shut. also, he had a loose tooth. poor thing, he was wincing every time he ate. so the vet opened his eye and said "yup, conjunctivitis" and then opened his mouth and said "yup, loose tooth" and yanked it out! O.O kitty didn't even yelp, I think the second of pain was worth it to get rid of what must've been driving him insane.

so now I have an ointment for his eye and the vet's word that the bleeding in his mouth will stop... now I'm just wondering how long he'll be hiding in the storage space behind the bed and if he'll ever cuddle with me again.

Lonely.... I'm so lonely... I have no-bodyyyyy for my owwwnnN!!!

had that song stuck in my head all day.

I have a new baby. She's adorable and looks like an alien. She's got the sweetest temperament, and loves to cuddle. Her transition is going really well, she latched on to me within the first half hour or so.

The down side of this lovely angel baby at work? it makes me want my own that much more.

Bear/Pea/the hubby isn't ready.. which I understand. Financially we're not exactly set up to have a baby right now. I completely get that he's not ready, and deep down I know that WE aren't ready.. but I want one.

I'm glad I didn't write a few days ago. I had one of those everything-goes-wrong-all-at-once kind of days and I'm sure the post would have been massive and very negative. Trying to stay positive because everything just goes smoother when I do.

I have to buy a dress. now, this may not seem like a tremendous task to most women.. but I am definitely not like most women. I hate dresses or skirts, I don't like to dress up. I wear mostly black and nothing I own is suitable to go to a wedding in.
*sigh* I hate shopping :o(

sooo...

not too much has happened. I recovered from my surgery, obviously.

I'm getting a bit panicked about planning this wedding.
Venue, check
Dress, check.
officiant, check.
bridesmaids dress, check
flower girls dresses picked out, check
bouquet bought, check
invitations bought, check (still need to do 'em though.)

so why the hell am I so panicked? I have NO BLOODY CLUE.

This weekend I'll go with my seester and mum and measure stuff out at the venue, come up with some decorating ideas and such, and hopefully ease some of this anxiety.

I just found my sister's blog. I haven't read anything I didn't already know, but it's still sort of neat.
oh, and I made this blog public. I wonder if anyone will ever read it.

Everything at work is going great. I love my boss, we'll just call her Boss. She is a hell of a lot like me, and in all the ways that make it easy to get along with her, not any of those things about me that I can't stand. we agree on just about everything, and our philosophy about our job meshes perfectly. unfortunately, she is only covering a maternity leave.. and so in December, I'm going to have to get used to someone new and lose who has become a very good friend.

I think that's the point that we'll start looking for places north of the city. if I have to start over with a new boss, i might as well start looking for a whole new job since I want to move anyway right?