wow. that was an easy announcement. I expected it to be more difficult.. but there it is. My son has been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.
On the evening of friday february 8th, 2013 my son threw up his dinner for the third night in a row. Something.. I still don't know quite what.. didn't feel right. I *knew* it was the flu.. but I also *knew* that my gut was in knots and I had no clue why. He didn't seem particularly dehydrated, and he had seemed well all day, but as soon as he vomited I panicked. I screamed to my husband that we needed to go to the emergency room. now.
Explaining to the triage nurse why were there was almost humiliating.. I just kept repeating "something is off, something just isn't right".. and I felt like a complete idiot. After triage, we sat and waited to be seen by a sweet young doctor, who agreed that it was probably the flu. they tried to give him an oral medication to stop him from vomiting anything more but he immediately threw that up so they stuck him on an IV for fluids, and I asked him to please check his blood sugar, and oxygen levels.. just to put my mind at ease, and he said he would. They took a vial of blood, and then we waited some more.
My husband went to move the car as we were about to run out of the three hour free parking, so I sat there alone.. and just then the doctor came back to discuss my son's condition. He took me into a curtained off area and sat me down, and started explaining something about acidic blood, and glucose levels, and breaking down muscles.. and I didn't understand a word of it. I was terrified, because just by the look on his face.. it was not good, and not an easy fix. That's when he said that all of these were markers of type 1 diabetes.
We were admitted to hospital, and my son got hooked up to all sorts of things.. he was on fluids to rehydrate him, and an insulin drip.. we stayed in hospital for three more days.. learning about what type 1 diabetes actually is, and how our lives will change.
For days, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt like someone had punched me in the gut, and I couldn't catch my breath, and every time I started to be able to think straight, I suddenly had to stab my baby and make him scream.. and then my mind would cloud over again.
My son is one of the happiest babies I have ever met. He smiles, constantly. He laughs a deep belly laugh, that you can't help but laugh along with. He enjoys stacking anything on top of anything, and he loves to hide everything. He loves to cuddle, and gives the best squeeziest hugs in the world.. but while we were in the hospital, he did none of these things. My son who started smiling at 4 weeks old and never stopped, didn't smile for four days and I was terrified that I would never get my baby back.
He is back to his old self, and we are coping.. but i am by no means okay with this. I have not accepted it and am having difficulty even being optimistic about it.
My son was only 14 months old when he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
starting a business
I've always wanted to run my own child care. I prefer home care settings over daycare centres but I like some aspects of centres, so I want to run my own home care with those aspects from centres thrown into the mix.
It seems that other people like this idea as well!
I put an ad online for my home child care, and not even 24 hours later, I already have someone showing interest! so excited!
It seems that other people like this idea as well!
I put an ad online for my home child care, and not even 24 hours later, I already have someone showing interest! so excited!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
a game of tag
I've been tagged! (although in all honesty, since no one reads my blog.. I'm not sure why :P)
1. Name a book that somehow changed you. How?
Firestarter - Stephen King. It was the first book that I remember being really interested in and not wanting to put down. It led to me reading everything Stephen King has ever written and solidified my love of reading.
2. If someone were to cook you the perfect meal, what would it be?
Lasagna, garlic bread and a caesar salad. The problem with this, is that *my* lasagna and garlic bread are my favourite foods.. and I fear that I would just take over if someone were to try to cook them for me. oh, and for it to be perfect, it would have to have no calories.
3. Who do you want to be when you grow up?
I think I'm actually there :) I always wanted to be a mum, and I always wanted to work with children. Now that I do both, I feel pretty fulfilled and very lucky.
4. You find a wallet containing $20,000 on the ground, containing no identification. What do you do?
search for any bit of paper with anything written on it, receipts.. anything that could lead me to the person who lost it. if I couldn't find anything, I would drop it off at a police station with exactly where it was found.
I found a wallet once, with no ID and 1500 dollars in cash.. I found a receipt and had the store it was from find out from the transaction number that a credit card was used. With that information (luckily, I was working at the store at the time) I had the credit card company contact the owner of the card. When she came to pick it up, she was all puffy from crying.. that 1500 dollars was two months rent.
5. Name one completely irrational fear that you've got.
just one? hrm.
I suppose I'd have to say spiders. They terrify me. Tiny little jumping spiders have been known to have me shrieking and running away. I have a spider catcher thingy that makes it so you can be two feet away and still catch a spider to get rid of it.. and my husband has to use it. Once, I called him while he was at work to tell him I was trapped in the bathroom. I had gone into the bathroom, and as I went to walk out again, noticed a *HUGE* spider just above the door. I then waited in there for three and a half hours until he got home to deal with it.
6. Give me three songs that you're embarrassed to admit you like.
tik tok - Kesha. I hate everything about her, but I find this song incredibly catchy.
I think that's about it though. I listen to just about everything, and am not embarrassed to admit to any of it... except Kesha..
7. What is one thing you absolutely love about yourself?
That I'm determined. When I want something, I work very hard to get it.. and I don't let obstacles deter me.
8. If you could be doing ANYTHING right now, what would it be?
Eat an entire cheesecake.. that has no calories.
9. What's the best thing that happened to you this week?
I lost 9 pounds! :D (see why I want things to have no calories?!)
10. If you could perfect one skill overnight, what would it be?
sewing. I'd love to be able to sew.. but there just seems to be so much to learn that I don't even start.
11. Tea or coffee?
It really depends. I love coffee, but when I'm not feeling all that great, I prefer tea.
11 random facts about me:
1.When I was young, I climbed trees.. all the time. I used to hang out in a tree in the front yard of a house on my street and pretend that people walking by below didn't know I was there.
2.I want to have a lovely garden, but am so afraid of spiders that I can't *tend* to a garden very well.
3. I'm very neurotic. I like things to be done a certain way and when something messes up my routine, I tend to get more upset than seems reasonable. This is a trait I hope my son doesn't learn from me.
4. I wish I was half as creative as my sister. She pulls ideas out of her head, and makes them happen.. I've always wanted to be able to draw/paint/sculpt/create like she can.
5. for our first anniversary, my husband bought me a label maker. It was the most thoughtful gift I've ever received. Staples is my idea of a good date.
6. I love cats. like.. a lot.
7. my mother used to pay my sister to clean my room
8. coming up with 11 random facts about myself, is far harder than I thought it would be.
9. Dishonesty makes me very angry. the worst thing someone can do to me is lie about something that matters.
10. every friend I've ever had, has stabbed me in the back. I have a very hard time trusting people as a result.
11. I often forget how lucky I am, and that everything I've had to go through, has shaped me and my life into what it is today.
annnnd, since no one reads my blog, I'm not gonna tag anyone else. :P
1. Name a book that somehow changed you. How?
Firestarter - Stephen King. It was the first book that I remember being really interested in and not wanting to put down. It led to me reading everything Stephen King has ever written and solidified my love of reading.
2. If someone were to cook you the perfect meal, what would it be?
Lasagna, garlic bread and a caesar salad. The problem with this, is that *my* lasagna and garlic bread are my favourite foods.. and I fear that I would just take over if someone were to try to cook them for me. oh, and for it to be perfect, it would have to have no calories.
3. Who do you want to be when you grow up?
I think I'm actually there :) I always wanted to be a mum, and I always wanted to work with children. Now that I do both, I feel pretty fulfilled and very lucky.
4. You find a wallet containing $20,000 on the ground, containing no identification. What do you do?
search for any bit of paper with anything written on it, receipts.. anything that could lead me to the person who lost it. if I couldn't find anything, I would drop it off at a police station with exactly where it was found.
I found a wallet once, with no ID and 1500 dollars in cash.. I found a receipt and had the store it was from find out from the transaction number that a credit card was used. With that information (luckily, I was working at the store at the time) I had the credit card company contact the owner of the card. When she came to pick it up, she was all puffy from crying.. that 1500 dollars was two months rent.
5. Name one completely irrational fear that you've got.
just one? hrm.
I suppose I'd have to say spiders. They terrify me. Tiny little jumping spiders have been known to have me shrieking and running away. I have a spider catcher thingy that makes it so you can be two feet away and still catch a spider to get rid of it.. and my husband has to use it. Once, I called him while he was at work to tell him I was trapped in the bathroom. I had gone into the bathroom, and as I went to walk out again, noticed a *HUGE* spider just above the door. I then waited in there for three and a half hours until he got home to deal with it.
6. Give me three songs that you're embarrassed to admit you like.
tik tok - Kesha. I hate everything about her, but I find this song incredibly catchy.
I think that's about it though. I listen to just about everything, and am not embarrassed to admit to any of it... except Kesha..
7. What is one thing you absolutely love about yourself?
That I'm determined. When I want something, I work very hard to get it.. and I don't let obstacles deter me.
8. If you could be doing ANYTHING right now, what would it be?
Eat an entire cheesecake.. that has no calories.
9. What's the best thing that happened to you this week?
I lost 9 pounds! :D (see why I want things to have no calories?!)
10. If you could perfect one skill overnight, what would it be?
sewing. I'd love to be able to sew.. but there just seems to be so much to learn that I don't even start.
11. Tea or coffee?
It really depends. I love coffee, but when I'm not feeling all that great, I prefer tea.
11 random facts about me:
1.When I was young, I climbed trees.. all the time. I used to hang out in a tree in the front yard of a house on my street and pretend that people walking by below didn't know I was there.
2.I want to have a lovely garden, but am so afraid of spiders that I can't *tend* to a garden very well.
3. I'm very neurotic. I like things to be done a certain way and when something messes up my routine, I tend to get more upset than seems reasonable. This is a trait I hope my son doesn't learn from me.
4. I wish I was half as creative as my sister. She pulls ideas out of her head, and makes them happen.. I've always wanted to be able to draw/paint/sculpt/create like she can.
5. for our first anniversary, my husband bought me a label maker. It was the most thoughtful gift I've ever received. Staples is my idea of a good date.
6. I love cats. like.. a lot.
7. my mother used to pay my sister to clean my room
8. coming up with 11 random facts about myself, is far harder than I thought it would be.
9. Dishonesty makes me very angry. the worst thing someone can do to me is lie about something that matters.
10. every friend I've ever had, has stabbed me in the back. I have a very hard time trusting people as a result.
11. I often forget how lucky I am, and that everything I've had to go through, has shaped me and my life into what it is today.
annnnd, since no one reads my blog, I'm not gonna tag anyone else. :P
Friday, May 25, 2012
wait.. you mean he's gonna.. do .. stuff?
so I had gotten pretty used to propping des up on the couch while I went to make myself breakfast.. or leaving him laying on my bed so I could have a shower.. it was working, there was peace in my house.
about two weeks ago, I left him in the middle of my bed the way I had a million times before, and I went to have a shower. There I was.. getting all covered in suds and shaving my legs for the first time in four months or so.. and I had *no* idea the horrors that were occurring just one room away.
I got out of the shower and leisurely dried off.. no rush here!
I walked into the bedroom.. and there was my baby *THIS* close to the edge of the bed. IMMINENT DOOOOOOOM!!! He was actually laying about his body width to the right of where I left him, now on his tummy.. head raised and smiling at me, but yeah.. dooooooom.
my world.. will never be the same.
about two weeks ago, I left him in the middle of my bed the way I had a million times before, and I went to have a shower. There I was.. getting all covered in suds and shaving my legs for the first time in four months or so.. and I had *no* idea the horrors that were occurring just one room away.
I got out of the shower and leisurely dried off.. no rush here!
I walked into the bedroom.. and there was my baby *THIS* close to the edge of the bed. IMMINENT DOOOOOOOM!!! He was actually laying about his body width to the right of where I left him, now on his tummy.. head raised and smiling at me, but yeah.. dooooooom.
my world.. will never be the same.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
and then my back deck started growling
I stepped outside last night to put a bag of garbage in the can outside, and heard a very distinct snarling/growling/scary-as-shit noise coming from below me. I jumped of course, and the noise continued. I of course, ran *away* from the house rather than into it, because I'm one of those people who in a horror film run into the abandoned building rather than away from it. I seem to, in the face of danger, do the worst thing possible. I'm fairly sure that if there had been a moving vehicle in my yard, I would have jumped into its path..I was scared to death! but that's beside the point.
There is something *living* under my deck. This morning I went out hoping that whatever the thing is (probably a chupacabra) would be asleep, and i looked for an entry point. I couldn't find a single place that something could have gotten under there. All of this is leading me to believe that whatever it is, originated under my deck.. so I can only assume that my backyard breeds demon beings that will be waiting around to eat my feet.
There is something *living* under my deck. This morning I went out hoping that whatever the thing is (probably a chupacabra) would be asleep, and i looked for an entry point. I couldn't find a single place that something could have gotten under there. All of this is leading me to believe that whatever it is, originated under my deck.. so I can only assume that my backyard breeds demon beings that will be waiting around to eat my feet.
 |
| Totally living under my deck. |
post-maternity leave
It has always been my plan to start my own in-home childcare. Ever since I started working in child care, I decided that I wanted to be my own boss. I would like to incorporate all of the things that I love about traditional child care settings, as well as the *major* benefits of in home child care.
Traditional:
- a true learning environment, based on an emergent curriculum
- defined schedule for each daily event (outdoor play, washroom routines, etc.)
In home:
-smaller group size to facilitate more personalized programming
-single caregiver to promote strong attachment and comfort
-family centered care. caregiver as an assistant to the family dynamic.
in order to have my own childcare, I need to renovate my basement to make it suitable for children. We need to add a washroom, and do some serious child-proofing so that it's a very safe and clean environment... and that's before I even decorate/furnish it. This is going to cost a big chunk of change.. and that's just assuming I'll be able to convince people to leave their kids with me.
Then comes advertising, and figuring out how to get my name out there, to the land of people who need child care.
All of this has me thinking that maybe I should look for something else to do. I don't really want to, but there's just so much to do to get ready :o(
maybe I should just get started.
Traditional:
- a true learning environment, based on an emergent curriculum
- defined schedule for each daily event (outdoor play, washroom routines, etc.)
In home:
-smaller group size to facilitate more personalized programming
-single caregiver to promote strong attachment and comfort
-family centered care. caregiver as an assistant to the family dynamic.
in order to have my own childcare, I need to renovate my basement to make it suitable for children. We need to add a washroom, and do some serious child-proofing so that it's a very safe and clean environment... and that's before I even decorate/furnish it. This is going to cost a big chunk of change.. and that's just assuming I'll be able to convince people to leave their kids with me.
Then comes advertising, and figuring out how to get my name out there, to the land of people who need child care.
All of this has me thinking that maybe I should look for something else to do. I don't really want to, but there's just so much to do to get ready :o(
maybe I should just get started.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
It was a busy month
there was about a week there where I was so focused on feeding that I was driving myself insane. Des would get frustrated, I would get angry at myself and him, there's nothing much worse than feeling like you're being rejected by your own kid because you *can't* do something that is supposed to be so natural.. so I gave up.
each time I tried to feed him, he would scream.. I would cry.. we would both end up crying and exhausted.. and then I'd give him a bottle.. so after months of this, I gave up. I believe that I was actually hurting our relationship by trying so hard when I'm physically incapable of producing enough milk.
Without the feeding issue (he just takes bottles now, no nursing at all) we are both so much happier. He is sleeping better, and giving obvious cues as to his needs. I'm not as stressed and I know that he is more relaxed because of it. basically, we're all just a bit happier without having to worry about the next feeding.. it was the right thing for us.
Des is starting to settle into a schedule
530ish - night time bottle and back to sleep
7ish - wake up, cuddle with mummy while daddy takes a shower
8ish - play with daddy while mummy makes breakfast
830ish - breakfast time! sits up to the table with mummy and daddy.. so interested in watching us eat!
930ish- Daddy goes to work, nap #1
1030ish - wake up, bottle #1
11ish - morning walk :)
1230ish - nap #2
130ish - wake up, bottle #2
200ish - play with mummy, tummy time
300ish - nap #3
400ish - wake up, bottle #3
430ish - independant play (tummy time, exersaucer, play mat, assorted toys for reaching)
500ish - monday/wednesday/saturday - Bath time Tuesday/thursday/friday/sunday - read a book with mummy
530ish-Bottle #4
600ish- Cuddles with mummy
630ish - Bed time Zzzzzz
usually he sleeps for a good long stretch here
1030ish - Bottle #5 and back to sleep
I have no idea if I'm doing it right.. or if I'm supposed to be doing something differently. I didn't decided on any times for any of the activities we do in a day, I followed his cues and we established this routine based solely on his needs.. now I try to stick to it (within a half hour or so) so that he doesn't get too cranky if I miss him rubbing his eyes or something. Having a routine is so important, and has helped our little family so much.
also:
My sister might be moving into my neighbourhood! :) more on that later, it's time for bottle #5
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