uh oh.

the hubby goes back to work tomorrow. I'm having panic attacks just thinking about being alone all day... every day.. with Des. It's a terrifying thought, considering he gives Des the occasional bottle, and cuddles him often while he plays video games so that I can do laundry, cleaning, showering.. all that good stuff. What the hell am I going to do when it's just me? Des likes to be cuddled. He does not like to lay on his back... he's already a side sleeper, because he can roll that far on his own.. and so I'm incredibly nervous about him when he's sleeping, because I don't want him to roll too far or something and suffocate. this is going to be difficult for the next little while.

Once we move, we'll be able to set up the crib, which I will be much less panicked about because 1) i can see him through the sides of it and 2) the sides aren't solid and so he wouldn't be able to kill himself.

Also, once we move we'll have more space.. for everything. right now, I have that restless omg-the-walls-are-closing-in-on-me feeling due to the influx of baby stuff that takes up more room than we have. I packed up everything Des related that we won't need to use for at least the month, and put it in storage. Otherwise, I'm fairly sure that it would have toppled over and killed all of us in our sleep.

Hopefully, the next 21 days will go by quickly... I just want to have moved.. I still feel like we're not really set up to have Des home, which it's a bit too late for at this point.. so once we move, I can get things ready to have him home!