Friday, February 15, 2013

My son has type 1 diabetes.

wow. that was an easy announcement. I expected it to be more difficult.. but there it is. My son has been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

On the evening of friday february 8th, 2013 my son threw up his dinner for the third night in a row. Something.. I still don't know quite what.. didn't feel right. I *knew* it was the flu.. but I also *knew* that my gut was in knots and I had no clue why. He didn't seem particularly dehydrated, and he had seemed well all day, but as soon as he vomited I panicked. I screamed to my husband that we needed to go to the emergency room. now.

Explaining to the triage nurse why were there was almost humiliating.. I just kept repeating "something is off, something just isn't right".. and I felt like a complete idiot. After triage, we sat and waited to be seen by a sweet young doctor, who agreed that it was probably the flu. they tried to give him an oral medication to stop him from vomiting anything more but he immediately threw that up so they stuck him on an IV for fluids, and I asked him to please check his blood sugar, and oxygen levels.. just to put my mind at ease, and he said he would.  They took a vial of blood, and then we waited some more.

My husband went to move the car as we were about to run out of the three hour free parking, so I sat there alone.. and just then the doctor came back to discuss my son's condition. He took me into a curtained off area and sat me down, and started explaining something about acidic blood, and glucose levels, and breaking down muscles.. and I didn't understand a word of it. I was terrified, because just by the look on his face.. it was not good, and not an easy fix. That's when he said that all of these were markers of type 1 diabetes.

We were admitted to hospital, and my son got hooked up to all sorts of things.. he was on fluids to rehydrate him, and an insulin drip.. we stayed in hospital for three more days.. learning about what type 1 diabetes actually is, and how our lives will change.

For days, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt like someone had punched me in the gut, and I couldn't catch my breath, and every time I started to be able to think straight, I suddenly had to stab my baby and make him scream.. and then my mind would cloud over again.

My son is one of the happiest babies I have ever met. He smiles, constantly. He laughs a deep belly laugh, that you can't help but laugh along with. He enjoys stacking anything on top of anything, and he loves to hide everything. He loves to cuddle, and gives the best squeeziest hugs in the world.. but while we were in the hospital, he did none of these things. My son who started smiling at 4 weeks old and never stopped, didn't smile for four days and I was terrified that I would never get my baby back.

He is back to his old self, and we are coping.. but i am by no means okay with this. I have not accepted it and am having difficulty even being optimistic about it.

My son was only 14 months old when he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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