Saturday, June 22, 2013

I'm fat.

I've always been fat. It's part of who I am. Last year, I decided.. as a side note, that I wished I looked better, so I wanted to lose some weight.  I didn't really pay too much attention though. Sure, I walked around the neighbourhood and I wrote down what I was eating but I was eating enough for three people, and I didn't bother to change that! I lost about five pounds, and then my son got sick and I did. not. care. about. me. Every bit of energy went into him, every ounce of organization went into him, and I ate the easiest, quickest thing that I could; paying absolutely zero attention to what I was putting into my body.

two weeks ago, I decided that I am finally feeling in control of my son's diabetes. We have a solid routine, and his sugars are stable. We're in a good groove. Then I looked in the mirror.

I realized that I have really stopped caring about me. My skin is horrible, my body is sagging, I've got a sty in one eye, and the other just hurts for some reason. My joints ache. I burst into tears multiple times a day. I have an almost constant headache. I'm constantly thirsty. my nails and hair are brittle. To sum it all up, I feel unhealthy. Also, I weighed in at 282 lbs... I'm only 5'5". I am morbidly obese.

I have given myself 18 months to lose 150 lbs. and get healthy. I will not "diet". I am changing my entire lifestyle, and getting myself and my family healthy. I have been researching what our bodies *need* to function, and be healthy.. and am implementing ideas one at a time so that they really stick. So far, I've cut my food intake in half, and have replaced my breads and pastas with whole wheat versions. So far, I have lost 16 lbs.

This week, I have introduced raw veggies.. and can feel a difference in my energy level already.

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