wait.. you mean he's gonna.. do .. stuff?

so I had gotten pretty used to propping des up on the couch while I went to make myself breakfast.. or leaving him laying on my bed so I could have a shower.. it was working, there was peace in my house.

about two weeks ago, I left him in the middle of my bed the way I had a million times before, and I went to have a shower. There I was.. getting all covered in suds and shaving my legs for the first time in four months or so.. and I had *no* idea the horrors that were occurring just one room away.

I got out of the shower and leisurely dried off.. no rush here!

I walked into the bedroom.. and there was my baby *THIS* close to the edge of the bed. IMMINENT DOOOOOOOM!!!  He was actually laying about his body width to the right of where I left him, now on his tummy.. head raised and smiling at me, but yeah.. dooooooom.

my world.. will never be the same.

and then my back deck started growling

I stepped outside last night to put a bag of garbage in the can outside, and heard a very distinct snarling/growling/scary-as-shit noise coming from below me. I jumped of course, and the noise continued. I of course, ran *away* from the house rather than into it, because I'm one of those people who in a horror film run into the abandoned building rather than away from it. I seem to, in the face of danger, do the worst thing possible. I'm fairly sure that if there had been a moving vehicle in my yard, I would have jumped into its path..I was scared to death! but that's beside the point.

There is something *living* under my deck. This morning I went out hoping that whatever the thing is (probably a chupacabra) would be asleep, and i looked for an entry point.  I couldn't find a single place that something could have gotten under there. All of this is leading me to believe that whatever it is, originated under my deck.. so I can only assume that my backyard breeds demon beings that will be waiting around to eat my feet.

Totally living under my deck.

post-maternity leave

It has always been my plan to start my own in-home childcare. Ever since I started working in child care, I decided that I wanted to be my own boss. I would like to incorporate all of the things that I love about traditional child care settings, as well as the *major* benefits of in home child care.

Traditional:
- a true learning environment, based on an emergent curriculum
- defined schedule for each daily event (outdoor play, washroom routines, etc.)

In home:
-smaller group size to facilitate more personalized programming
-single caregiver to promote strong attachment and comfort
-family centered care. caregiver as an assistant to the family dynamic.

in order to have my own childcare, I need to renovate my basement to make it suitable for children. We need to add a washroom, and do some serious child-proofing so that it's a very safe and clean environment... and that's before I even decorate/furnish it. This is going to cost a big chunk of change.. and that's just assuming I'll be able to convince people to leave their kids with me.

Then comes advertising, and figuring out how to get my name out there, to the land of people who need child care.

All of this has me thinking that maybe I should look for something else to do. I don't really want to, but there's just so much to do to get ready :o(

maybe I should just get started.

It was a busy month

there was about a week there where I was so focused on feeding that I was driving myself insane. Des would get frustrated, I would get angry at myself and him, there's nothing much worse than feeling like you're being rejected by your own kid because you *can't* do something that is supposed to be so natural.. so I gave up.

each time I tried to feed him, he would scream.. I would cry.. we would both end up crying and exhausted.. and then I'd give him a bottle.. so after months of this, I gave up. I believe that I was actually hurting our relationship by trying so hard when I'm physically incapable of producing enough milk.

Without the feeding issue (he just takes bottles now, no nursing at all) we are both so much happier. He is sleeping better, and giving obvious cues as to his needs. I'm not as stressed and I know that he is more relaxed because of it. basically, we're all just a bit happier without having to worry about the next feeding.. it was the right thing for us.

Des is starting to settle into a schedule

530ish - night time bottle and back to sleep

7ish - wake up, cuddle with mummy while daddy takes a shower

8ish - play with daddy while mummy makes breakfast

830ish - breakfast time! sits up to the table with mummy and daddy.. so interested in watching us eat!

930ish- Daddy goes to work, nap #1

1030ish - wake up, bottle #1

11ish - morning walk :)

1230ish - nap #2

130ish - wake up, bottle #2

200ish - play with mummy, tummy time

300ish - nap #3

400ish - wake up, bottle #3

430ish - independant play (tummy time, exersaucer, play mat, assorted toys for reaching)

500ish - monday/wednesday/saturday - Bath time Tuesday/thursday/friday/sunday - read a book with mummy

530ish-Bottle #4

600ish- Cuddles with mummy

630ish - Bed time Zzzzzz

usually he sleeps for a good long stretch here

1030ish - Bottle #5 and back to sleep

I have no idea if I'm doing it right.. or if I'm supposed to be doing something differently. I didn't decided on any times for any of the activities we do in a day, I followed his cues and we established this routine based solely on his needs.. now I try to stick to it (within a half hour or so) so that he doesn't get too cranky if I miss him rubbing his eyes or something. Having a routine is so important, and has helped our little family so much.

also:

My sister might be moving into my neighbourhood! :) more on that later, it's time for bottle #5

it's a lazy.. lazy day

soooo lazy

you can't plan for life.

When the hubby and I first started talking about having a baby, I had a very clear idea in my head about what it would be like. My pregnancy was going to be lovely. I was going to play music for my belly every night, i would get the nursery all ready for my little girl and I would work right up until my due date, because I'm awesome!

Unfortunately that isn't the way it turned out. I was sick every day until I went into labour. I developed condition after condition and could barely walk.. it was horrible.

Then the pregnancy ended.. thank god!

hey wait.. you're not a little girl...

we were going to be the greenest most environmentally friendly family ever!

I was going to breastfeed exclusively, no need to waste money on formula!

I was going to cloth diaper exclusively, no need to waste money on disposables!

I was going to make my own detergents, clothes, everything! I was going to have so much free time.. because I'm awesome!

my breasts did not cooperate, and I have never been able to increase my milk supply enough to sustain him, so we're "wasting" money on formula*

my baby was born too small for the cloth diapers that I had purchased, and we were still living in the tiny apartment with no space so we decided to hold off on cloth diapering until we had moved to the new house, and the smaller size insert had arrived. Unfortunately, by the time all this had happened, he had become far too used to the disposables, and would scream the second he felt wet so we decided to hold off a bit longer. We still need to use disposables at night if any of us want to get any sleep. So we wasted money on disposable diapers.

since we waited to cloth diaper and we were still at the apartment, I didn't start making all my own detergents and things, and considering my son didn't like to be put down at all for the first two months of his life (he's gotten much better), I barely had time to move, let alone do stuff.

Basically, I'm pretty disappointed in myself so far, and I'm determined to do something about it. I am now breastfeeding as much as I can but we still have to buy formula, there is nothing I can do about that.

I am cloth diapering 90% of the time, and working on making that 100%

I won't be buying any more detergents (laundry, cloth diaper, or dishwasher) or harsh cleaners. I will be making my own once I run out of what I have.

I will be planting vegetables and herbs this spring, because I want to be able to make a salad from my own garden.

I have already started to make Des' clothes, now I just need to learn to sew :o/

now if only I could figure out a way to make it financially viable to not go back to work so that I can continue to have enough time to do things.

*I don't think that it's a "waste" to buy formula to feed my baby, but if I could breastfeed and bought formula for more selfish reasons then I would consider that a waste of money.

Friendship bracelets

I used to go to a summer camp where we would go camping for four or five days at a time. We'd set up tents, sit around fires, play flashlight tag and watch raccoons. I loved camping, and that summer camp and one of the things that I learnt from the people there while we camped, was how to make friendship bracelets.

Just recently, I bought a whole whack of embroidery thread for a project

got the idea from Pinterest :o)

With the left over thread (there really is tons. Got it from Walmart for $10.) I've started making bracelets.

One for each of my nieces.

one for my sister

I am now making one for my mother at her request. but I haven't forgotten about the hats!

I made one for my brother because he asked for one, but his head is quite a bit larger than my model's head.